He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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