Yo dont text me then not text me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
