so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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