I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
