the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
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Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
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We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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