I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
