I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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