I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
