Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize