I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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