Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Are my feet made of real feet?
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What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
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i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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