also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
