yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
