If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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