You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
