my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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