I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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