'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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