I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
