I love watching others lives come down to our level.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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