He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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