I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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