Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
