This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
