does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
