Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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