You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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