It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
