whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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