rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
