Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
