You smell like stripper and shame
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
