How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize