a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's never too late to be topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize