How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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