I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
