Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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