i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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