Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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