I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
