I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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