You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so that wasnt chicken after all
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
