GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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