the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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