She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
