I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize