I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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