all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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