Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
