i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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