yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
