Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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