I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I need water and some morals
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
