dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
