Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
whose parrot is this?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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