I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
