At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
